Healing Trauma Through Transformative Dialogue

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Ellyn Bader, PhD Related seminars and products

The Couples Institute

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Ellyn Bader, PhD, is in private practice and is co-director of The Couples Institute in Menlo Park, California. Over the past 25 years she has conducted professional training programs in couples therapy and has trained therapists throughout the United States as well as Europe, Asia, South America, and Australia. She is a past president of the International Transactional Analysis Association and a recipient of the Clark Vincent Award for an outstanding literary contribution to the field of marital therapy from the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists. Dr. Bader is frequently invited to speak at national and international conferences. She and her husband, Peter Pearson, PhD, coauthored the books, In Quest of the Mythical Mate: A Developmental Approach to Diagnosis and Treatment in Couples Therapy (Brunner/Mazel) and Tell Me No Lies: How to Face the Truth and Build an Honest Marriage (St. Martin’s Press).

Speaker Disclosures:
Financial: Ellyn Bader is the director of The Couples Institute and receives compensation as a consultant. She receives royalties as a published author. Ellyn Bader receives a speaking honorarium and recording royalties from PESI, Inc. She has no relevant financial relationships with ineligible organizations.
Non-financial: Ellyn Bader is a member of the American Psychological Association, the International Transactional Analysis Association, and the California Association of Marriage and Family Therapists.

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Objectives

1. Analyze the role that differentiation plays in the facilitation of significant personal growth for each partner.  
2. Utilize developmental continuums to help partners progressively build empathy, improve listening skills, and confidently initiate challenging conversations. 
3. Define differentiation and explain how embracing differentiation facilitates significant personal growth for each partner. 
4. Determine the impact that unresolved trauma has on a couple's developmental progress. 
5. Formulate effective questions partners can use during emotionally charged conversations. 

Outline

Understanding the Communication Myth 

• Why “we can’t communicate” is rarely about technique 
• Moving beyond surface-level fixes 

The Role of Differentiation in Couple Therapy 

• Defining differentiation and its role in relational development 
• Emotional capacities required for authentic connection 

Mapping the Developmental Journey 

• Using developmental continuums in assessment and treatment 
• Identifying where each partner is in their growth process 

Trauma’s Impact on Relational Development 

• How unresolved trauma disrupts differentiation and connection 

Facilitating Transformative Dialogue 

• Strategies and sample questions for emotionally charged conversations 
• Supporting partners in building empathy, respect, and emotional presence 

Clinical Application and Integration 

• Practical tools for helping couples grow through conflict 
• Therapist stance  

Risks and Limitations 

• Discussion of the accuracy and utility of the materials presented, research limitations, and the severe and common risks associated with the content of the program 

Target Audience

• Counselors
• Marriage and Family Therapists
• Social Workers
• Physicians 
• Psychologists
• Addiction Counselors